This is the GOD speaking.
I have no beginning I have no end. I am my own creator and everything else’s. I am the creator of the universe and everything beyond it (which your human race can never comprehend. Give you a try? Huh please you still don’t know lots about your own planet). Those who challenge my authority shall be doomed to hell, the most horrific place in the universe where I carry out my wicked and naughty experiments. So listen up!
I descend upon you and speak your filthy language as I found it imperative to remind your insignificant race of the servitude owed to me. For a few centuries now my attention was diverted and your pathetic species has strayed off the path I set for you. I am your creator and I decide your face, fate and everything else. You owe your existence to me and you shall spend all of it, mind you every second, in prayer and praise (of me of course). Through a design flaw I made you sapient and to date regret my loss of concentration in that moment. What makes you think that you can think for yourselves and question my existence? I didn’t revoke your intelligence so that you could use it to find newer ways of worship, give me a million names and revere me on this tiny speck of dust you call planet earth. I didn’t do so to ensure that you shall build me idols, statues, temples, edifices and all. To use your so called creativity to give me newer appearances (to fashion myself in my spare time), write stories and sing songs about the evil I never fought, kindness I never knew, miracles I never performed and gifts I never gave.
You should spend every moment of the insignificant lives of yours in my memory or of those nice men who you call prophets and who claim to be my messengers, sons etc. They have been doing jolly good jobs of carrying forward my (so called) word and keeping discipline. You shall not succumb to those fine things in life which makes it beautiful. You shall hate and despise all those who try to make money, enjoy the worldly joys and cherish their lives. It is my curse upon you- To breed and multiply but you shall not talk of or enjoy the natural process which enables you to do so. You shall all be selfish and taint a person who is prospering as one and ruin him in all possible ways.
You have sinned. Your sin is that of being born (rather created by me) and you shall pay your sin debt by refraining from all pleasure and invoking some pain in your lives. Those who shall create pain in others lives too and remind them of their duty to me and bring them to shame for their pleasures shall get brownie points. The more lives you ruin including your own, the more I shall reward you. Those who indulge in the seven deadly sins and unlicensed violence (that is violence not in my name) will have your points knocked off. Life is a race after all, of who scores my good will and points. Those with a higher sum total will have a seat closer to mine in that fine assembly you created for the good ones among you with me presiding over called (Hmm.. now what is it that you guys call it… er.. yeah) Heaven. And those who have disobeyed me and hence have a negative score will rot in the aforementioned hell. (Hell is kinda cool though; you are invited to be hamsters in my weird experiments)
You shall only read my good books well penned down by those prophets or the books which praise my glory and emphasise my control over your petty lives. Every other piece of literature and art shall be deemed insignificant and those questioning me or my followers shall be called heretic. (My followers! you shall do all within your powers to destroy those heretics.) You are beginning to forget the golden words I have conveyed through them and are busy digging your heads through microscopes, telescopes and other stupid machines. Listen to me again and I shall not repeat; only erase you at the time of Judgement.
I have granted some people of your race a status of being superior compared to the others. It was tough deciding who to grant these rights to because there were lots of people praying to me and praising too. So I decided to give these awards in several categories predominantly the following.
The first and most important category is gender. This is my favourite category you see because there is an even split in the numbers. And I gave the power to the weaker sex which is physically stronger. This is so much fun as brawn prevails over brains and rationale and everything else. The male ego is my boon to mankind. (Yes mankind, hu’man’ity , businessman, etc not woman or person)The men shall oppress the women forever and make them do all their own work like household chores, bear offspring and provide entertainment. The woman shall be robbed of her glory and put to shame and torture mentally and physically too. (Women don’t blame me, I don’t know what sex is) and yeah don’t forget to undermine men who support the cause of woman and burn women who think freely calling them witches even though you say respect them more than anything else in every role.
The next field being race. You shall discriminate on the basis of skin colour (ha! I am genius, what a thing to make fun of others on a stupid thing like skin and you stupid creatures buy it) and treat those regarded as inferior as slaves and treat them however you want. You shall evict them from their own lands for your benefit and mistreat them when they come to yours (if they are already not there) seeking opportunity.
You shall give me several names and forms (increase the count every few hundred years) and divide yourselves into religions. Though you shall claim to have a secularist backdrop and religious tolerance, different religions shall have set of different practices and beliefs and preferably each set should offend the others. Though you shall fool yourselves to believing that religion gives you peace of mind, you shall be constantly be fighting amongst each other trying to prove more worthy and righteous word of God (that is me me and Me). I love religious battles you see, good source of entertainment and revenue generation in my name.
Groups of random people shall demarcate pieces of land as their own; create flags, songs and other ‘national’ things. You shall pride the land above everything else (other than me and religion of course) and call it motherland or fatherland and appeal to it only when the need arises not. The nations shall make friends with some and enemies with most. They shall always try raiding other nations and merge them into their own, fight over bits of land and exploit them for their material wealth. You shall fight wars, as long as possible with as many nations involved and create wide scale havoc and destruction. Under such circumstances my popularity will grow and prayers will come stronger from many more.
When you want to take a break from my worship, you may come up with philosophies and ideologies which shall hypnotise the masses and make them staunch supporters. All the ideologies shall be contradictory to each other and the followers shall fight to defend their own. You shall be condescending to the people who do ‘inferior’ work to yours and treat them with contempt and mistrust. (Refer to the latest customs and traditions booklet for order of importance of work). If in some position of power or authority you shall be corrupt and abuse your powers as per your whims and fancies, make money and humiliate those who you are supposed to serve and those who seek your help.
And most importantly, you shall not use reason at any point of time. You shall always listen to what your leaders and elders say and do them without any thought or aberration. You shall follow your traditions, beliefs and superstitions how much ever they cause you pain and inconvenience. You shall not be broad minded and empathetic to others. You shall fight within your own community if you are not busy at wars with others. You shall hate everyone on some pretext or the other.
What makes some of you think, that after you can discover a few principles and laws of nature (Nature is no god it’s just a piece of clockwork I created. It is it and not a she you fools) and begin to act so cold when with those who spend their time in my prayer and those persuading the remaining barbarians to acknowledge faith. As I already said I have given you brains to devote them to me and not to embark on progress in scientific, medical, philosophical, economical and political arenas. (Damn you people, you were a lot easier to control when all you did was hunt, eat, fight, fuck and sleep) I detest all those people who single mindedly focus on their work and things they love and consciously or unconsciously help in forward march of your race. You are not much superior to an ant or a bee. Their work is to just survive and your work is to survive and pray. All you need is food (like the ants) and faith (in me).
Faith is the greatest gift I have given your filthy race of sinners, because you will never understand, let alone know me for what I am. Any attempt to do so will drain the energy out of your grey and red cells and pop your eyes out if you think you can. Carry out my aforesaid ordinances with utmost respect and humiliation. All your actions shall be of unquestioning faith in me. Remind those who challenge you with reason and logic of Me and My Will. Just maintain your faith in me because you will find no better listener to your woes and apathy (No fellow being of yours can help you). Believe all those who say they carry my word and do as they say lest I shall plunge you into the sea of darkness and make this earth of yours new branch of hell. (Aah the ‘dark ‘middle ages were so glorious; I dint have to come down to take you people to task)
