Destructive Distillation

Expectations are an important cornerstone in any kind of relationship. We expect several things from our friends, family, colleagues, neighbours, favourite teams, politicians; well almost everybody and everything which has capacity to perform. Some of these expectations are very basic, some realistic and some extraordinary. These often tend to make or break the relationships.

Some of the strongest expectations I can think of are parental, of peers and self. Parents are the first people in our life and those who mould us into what we are. They are a huge support and strength for us. Right from childhood their expectations have a strong impact on an individual’s psyche and it is of utmost importance for the child to gain their approval and prevent disappointment. Peers influence our confidence in the society and strength to live in it. Our actions as perceived by those around us determine our social standing. We set ourselves goals and have ambitions. We expect effort and success from ourselves among other things.

Expectations are a huge burden to any soul; they add an extraneous element in every action and event occurring resulting in additional pressure to perform and succeed. Sometimes we fail due to expectations. Sometimes they help us match them. The expectations are bound to produce disappointments because more often than not when we expect good things from someone we don’t pay much attention to their shortcomings. Lack of expectations can surprise us, but rarely disappoint. When someone is low on self confidence or when things expected are bigger than his capabilities, self loathing and utmost contempt to task might be born and break his morale and cause a failure devastating to all parties concerned.

Why do we expect? We expect things from people who are important to us, those we care for, those who matter and play a part in our lives. We hope they do well, prove their mettle if not exceed themselves. However when expectations are not met, we tend to get utterly dejected. On repeated disappointments we lose faith and interest, further demoralising the subject of our expectations.

We always strive harder when things are expected of us but more often than not we perform as we would without expectations. There is a risk of running wild and going stray with no responsibility due to absence of expectations. Sometimes expectations below par may invoke higher competitiveness and produce better result. Expectations above par may beget minimum effort and produce results on par. We form our expectations from the way we imagine actions and events in our head with available data and try predict what could happen. If only we could all have realistic expectations or expectation slightly below or above par we could lead a more pleasant and less stressful lives.