What do you do when you feel you are going crazy, you cant hold a stable thought, you cant focus on a single act, you feel restless and you feel insecure. You are freaking out and you don’t know what to do. But what if I were in a similar state and knew why?
Sometimes days like this at home could be hell. I don’t know if an idle mind is a devil’s workshop but surely it is one black hole of happiness for me. Any prolonged period of inactivity sucks the gaiety in me and I turn into this twisted, perplexed troll having random thoughts, swaying dangerously and moving aimlessly. I feel, a cure to this could be talking to someone. But in the process I don’t know what I might end up saying, making totally unnecessary statements sometimes bizarre. And consequences to such things could be alarming so that is striked out. Another cure might be roaming around, but the whole point of it is nullified by the fact; if the roaming around is aimless, it would actually be a more mobile form of vagueness and insanity I already harbour. I think I can cure this by taking up some mind numbing activity like watching a movie or tv series, which in turn makes this wound of not being consummate larger by portraying things I don’t have but wish to, like adventure and a girl to love. By this time I have gone so deep into the pit that anything which could assuage this situation becomes impotent. I end up sleeping off those days in gloom and heartburn hoping to wake up for a good day. This happens once in a while and each time the insanity is carried over to the next bout.
But not today! Not now! I shall fight this off by doing what I like the most.
6 comments:
Ayyo...i know how it feels..been through it...but as u mentioned
" I feel, a cure to this could be talking to someone"...that someone is ME and talk to me NOW!!
~Keep all those inhibitions aside.
Embrace the Blackness my friend. That is how you will grow :).
Cheers. and Happy movie making
keep fighting and keep writing. :)
argh!! i so hate myself when i turn into that troll. but hey, hang in there bro, we're all cut from the same cheese! and yes, talk to someone.. it nearly always helps.. and write. that's what works for me 100% :)
How true!how true.I understand bro...As I say boredom breeds insanity.And when ppl like you and me talk in such situations a vicious cycle begins...insanity transformed into the most stupid /reckless speech capable of humanbeing- the realization of which aggrevates the madness and frustration.
well its a good thing to go to sleep ...always works for me..-dreamy escapism.but then as you said another bout of madness is waiting there in the next session of wakefulness.
The best thing about the post is that....we'll now know whats going on when you get into you trollish self.
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